tODAY AT WORK, AT MCDONALD’S, THE TOILET IN THE GIRLS’ ROOM LIKE BLEW UP AND WAS BLASTING WATER LIKE A FIREHOSE NONSTOP AND IT FILLED LIKE A FOOT OF WATER THROUGH THE WHOLE JOINT AND WE HAD TO CLOSE AND THE NEW MANAGER, PACO, WHO BARELY SPEAKS ENGLISH WAS ON DUTY AND HE WAS INCOHERENTLY FREAKING OUT IN SPANISH AND EVERYONE WAS COOKING FOOD AND EATING AND MAKING JOKES AND SAYING “START BUILDING THE ARC” AND FROM THE BASEMENT STAIRS AS THE WATER RUSHED DOWN WE WERE LIKE “NEVER LET GO JACK” AND SINGING “MY HEART WILL GO ON”. AND, TYRONE POSTED A SIGN SAYIGN “SORRY, WE TURNED INTO A WATERPARK INSTEAD OF A RESTAURANT TODAY” AND THEN THIS LADY CAME IN AND SAID SHE “WANTED HER BURGER EVEN IF THEY HAD TO SHIP IT OVER ON A BOAT” AND OMG IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF WORK IN MY LIFE I’M DYING
well, it wasn’t the best day for Paco, but still.
How are you so fucking perfect
there’s an old man on my bus wearing a sparkly devil horn headband i don’t understand
now he’s wearing a hot dog hat this is not a drill
i’m putting on my dinosaur hat we can be hat friends
he got off at the same stop as me and waited for me to get off the bus so he could laugh and shake my hand and then he just walked away without a word this is the weirdest day of my life